What I Learned at a Country Bar

This summer seems to just be flying by. We have not been seeing our friends as much as summers past, not having cookouts and heading out to patios for dinner and drinks. It is usually such a summer staple, and yet this year it has just gotten away from us. Money is of course part of the issue. Who isn't struggling with money right now, and with our IVF costs, an easy place to cut were those weekends out for dinner and drinks which between food, drinks and covers will easily cost $75 for the night. So it turns out we have let our summer weekly outings turn more into special occasion events. Last night was one of those special occasions that drug us all out of our houses and into a pretty great night.

My sister in law Candice celebrated her birthday last night. She has her heart set on a fun filled night at our local country bar. This is the point in the post where I would tell you all about the evening in pictures...it's what I do...but alas I was to lazy to cut into that annoying plastic container that my new memory card came in, so I had no working camera. Yes, I had the card, Just refused to open it. That is truly the height of lazy...anyway, since I will be telling you of the evening with my sweet words, I figure I will go for it in bullet form. Here is my list of things I learned while at a country bar...

• no matter how much you act like you could take or leave country music, when you walk into the bar and keep bobbing you head to the music or saying "oooo...I love this song!" you will give away your secret obsession with country and let everyone know you are truly in you element...and loving every second of it.
• The best idea for a bar ever is to give out free popcorn. Sounds strange? I agree. Still, it's food, which is always a big plus, AND it makes you super thirsty, therefore resulting in the consumption of a much higher quantity of beer. Someone out there is a genius.
• The second best idea for a bar is to add a couple of pool tables to the back. This will allow the group of men dragged out to the country bar to have something to entertain them and let them forget their hatred of country music and start actually enjoying themselves.
• Nick is apparently really good at pool. Or at least he was when I was watching, which was for all of two shots...two very impressive shots!
• If a guy jumps up on the counter to single you out and ask you to dance, even though you are at the back corner of your table, it is okay to realize he had balls for asking and be just a touch flattered at the attempt. Still it is best to flash the wedding ring and say, "thanks, but I am married..." Then point out your husband who is making amazing pool shots.
• My dear friend Charing taught me that the act of saying yes to the guy will result in twenty years of "remember when you danced with that guy..." Clearly I made the right move.
• Some girls will definitely give you to much information in the bathroom. For example you might hear that she is wearing her "my boyfriend just cheated on me" shoes which she is hoping will help her get laid (we have a different name for those shoes) and she was at the gym three times TODAY.
• I would never in a million years go to a gym three times in a day. A boyfriend or husband cheating will not change my lazy bone. Boo pointed out she would, possibly, visit McDonalds three times a day. I would maybe visit the candy store...maybe the liquor store... but definitely not the gym.
• No matter how many times you tell the story of the girl in the red heals wanting to get laid to your single guy friend, he will not approach her and tell her he likes her shoes and ask her to dance.
• He will be amazed with the amount of information that was retrieved in the bathroom.
• When dancing to the live band, Do not stand with your back to the giant fan that in cooling down the dance floor. Wind blown from behind is not a great look.
• People really love their line dances. And I love watching the people that are SOO into it...gives me endless joy.
• Hiding your purse in the trunk is a good idea. Going out to the parking lot to check in the purse for something, then being hustled for cash is not fun at all.
• Near closing time people may bring their dog into the bar and play fetch. I find this awesome.
• Two am comes fast when you are having fun with your friends...ten am comes even faster when you have to work the next morning.
• Last thing I learned....time out with good friends is always worth the time and money. We had a blast. Happy Birthday Miss Candice! Thanks for dragging us all out for a night at the bar!

Not As Clever As I Think

I consider myself a cleaver enough girl. Feel that I am good with problem solving, seeing the big picture, understanding they WHY of things. Truly on top of the details. Then things happen that really make me rethink that self approving opinion. Our dog Ellie has always gotten up in the night to go out. It is just one of those things I have gotten used to. She needs to pee, I get a drink, go pee myself, then we both go back to bed. Over the past several months I have been making a real effort to break this habit. We got to where she would go out every night before we went to bed, around midnight, then go all the way until 6:15 in the morning when she would wake me up and I would let her out. It was always 6:15. Exactly 6:15. She wakes me up, I think to myself, "It feels earlier/later this morning....wonder what time it is...oh, 6:15. weird". Day after day, week after week she gets me up at 6:15. I became more and more impressed with my perfect little dogs internal clock. We are talking to the minute here! I am patting myself on the back for the amazing dog parenting skills that led to this miracle dog which can tell time based on the sun or something. What an amazing mom I will make!! I taught my dog to tell time! MAD SKILLZ!

Weeks. Months. Most mornings I am amused with the exactness of the routine. This morning. At 6:15 on the nose I get up to let her out. I hear something. I hear....the train. The train which is far enough from our house so that you wouldn't hear in during normal waking hours due to the daily noise, but which you can hear in the still of the early morning. The train...that runs everyday at 6:15 and wakes up Ellie. It's the train...and I AM JUST NOW REALIZING IT. Months people, MONTHS I have wondered HOW she did it. HOW did she know?? Never thought there might be an explanation like she had her own alarm clock....

If you need more proof of my mad detail knowledge, in my post yesterday I said Nick and I have been married two and a half years, one and a half of which we have been trying for a baby. It was pointed out to me by my friend Arielle...my friend Arielle who I did not even know me at the time of my wedding, that I am completely wrong. We were married in October of 2006. If you do some quick math, we have been married one year and nine months. Now, we truly have been trying for a baby for a year and a half, I went off BC in January of 2007. Still, how do I add nine months to the time we have been married and not even bat an eyelash. At this rate we will have been married ten years and I will tell people it is our fifteenth wedding anniversary. I do the same stupid thing with the age of my cat. I have been saying Sammie is 15 for the past four years. I just did some quick math...got him in seventh grade...looks like he is...fifteen. Just now fifteen. It's like a pick a number that sounds about right, then throw it out as fact...not the best method...

To distract you from my faulty memory, I will now share with you a picture of me and Nick at the baseball game last night! Now aren't we adorable, even if I have no idea how long we have been married....

The Weight

With this title I could really take this post in two totally different directions. The weight on my heart full of fears for this IVF cycle, or the weight on my body which is driving me a touch of crazy. I figure we have lots of time for the weight on my heart to get heavier and you all to hear all about that, so this will be about the new weight on my body....italic intro is back... I love them!

I have become uncomfortable in my own skin. I am not a big girl, I am honestly an okay weight for my height (I am a tall girl at 5'9"). Still, since Nick and I were married, I have put on twenty five pounds. Twenty five people. As okay as my weight number sounds for my height, that is still a lot of weight to learn to live with over two and a half years. Of those two and a half years, one and a half of them we have been trying for a baby. That makes weight gain so different. Each month when I start my period I look at myself, now a few pounds heavier, and think "THIS IS IT! I AM DIETING!!" but then...then the next cycle begins. You have hopes and after two weeks you start to think maybe...you want to eat and so you do. That's what pregnant girls get to do, right?

Then a year and a half later you are twenty five pounds bigger and clearly not pregnant. All my clothes are tight, but yet for a year I have fought the urge to just go buy new clothes in my size because "this could be the month! Then what will I do with all these clothes that are to big when what I need is MATERNITY!" And then each month I start again, I dislike my body a little more, and I eat more food.

Part of our problem is what we eat. We eat out way to much. We are talking four to five times a week I am picking up dinner or we are going out. This is bad for our health and bad for our bank account. When we are out, we eat whatever we want. We have no moderation. When I do actually cook at home, I make a big meal. I mean, if I am going to the trouble of cooking, lets do it right! Fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, squash, green beans, cream corn, biscuits...special occasion? Oh yes. I cooked! I snack on cakes and cookies, I drink very little water, I am honestly lucky that I have not put on MUCH more weight over this time.

So what do I do? I sit here and I say I want to lose it, but then I can't help but think how I am starting IVF. Do I want to diet RIGHT NOW? What is one more month. Then I think how I feel when a cycle fails, and how with this, I would really rather not have being the biggest I have ever been on top of that. I think of how I don't want to eat this way when I am pregnant. I want to be healthy. I want my baby to be healthy. I want to change our eating habits. Cook more at home, and cook healthy. When we eat out to not always just get what sounds good, but get what IS good. To go ahead and buy new clothes that fit me. Styles changes and I need longer shirts. I need clothes that I can wear between two pink lines and maternity clothes. Those things don't happen on the same day! I need to be okay with myself. So...I am trying to eat healthy. To eat in moderation. I cannot diet right now, not with all of this, but I can live healthier. It is good for my health, and most likely good for our fertility. It is good for Nick and hopefully will be good for the baby I will soon be carrying...I hope I hope...

Really Real

I was talking with Raising A & C yesterday over email and she asked me how the fertility stuff was going. I told her that honestly, I knew in my head that it was happening, but really, if felt more like one of those things you SAY you are going to do...and then never get around to. It should be real. We have the appointments set. We know our time table, hell we are on top of our time table. We have the medications ordered. We are rolling. It's just that it doesn't FEEL like anything is happening. I am on birth control. I mean, that takes me back to WAY before this all began, and that is the only medication I am on. I have no idea what I am doing or when I take these shots and pills. It's just...something in the future. Or at least...until today. Today I got these in the mail...

Three medications for injections (Leuprolide, Follistrim and Chronic Gonad) and four medications in capsules (Prometrium, Tramadol, Prednisone and Doxycycline ) plus a TON of needles. A frightening number of needles...a frightening number of medications considering I think they will all be gone in a month. A MONTH!

Nick and I go in for our meeting with the IVF coordinator a week from tomorrow. She will go over exactly what the hell I do with all these meds, and then that same day (July 23rd) we begin the injections. I am so happy I had the chance to get away on vacation before this started. A chance to not have to think about it. But now, now I am ready to get rolling. Now it is really starting to feel real!

**anybody out there know why I am not on progesterone? I can ask the doc next week, but I was a little surprised it was not on the list. I guess there are enough other things here that I wont really miss it...**

The Little Changes

While we were in Florida I caught myself noticing myself and Nick several times. How we still love to play with each other. We laugh and tease and still truly enjoy each others company. I thought back to how we were at this same beach together seven years ago and how really, nothing seemed that different. Sure, we have both gone up a couple of sizes in bathing suits and we (okay I) have some gray hair, but really, we have managed to hold on to so much joy in our relationship over the past nine and a half years. We love being together, laughing and holding hands. Experiencing new things and sharing in memories. We just seem...the same, even with the passing of time and all of our triumphs and heart aches.

Then we went to his grandma's. I distinctly remember stopping there on our way down to Florida seven years ago. I remember that we sat down on the couch and Grandma looked at my hand. I had a small opal ring on my left ring finger and she was just so excited to see we were getting married. We were not engaged. I did not wear a ring on that finger again for about six years until we were actually engaged...

I also remember that Grandma let us sleep in the same room. She put us in the room with two twin beds. I remember so clearly that Nick and I rearranged the room so that we could push the twin beds together. I have no idea if Grandma told us we could do it, but we just felt like we HAD to sleep right beside each other! Couldn't stand to sleep eight feet apart!! HORROR!! When we got to Grandma's on Friday night she showed us to our room. It was a new house, but we were back in the room with two twin beds. We both looked at them, and said "AWESOME! We each get our own!!" No need to push them together. We were perfectly happy for the two nights with out own space. I guess a few things do change over time...

Back Home

Well I am happy to report that we are home safe and sound. It was a perfect trip, now I just wish I had a little more time before I have to go back to work! We stopped at Nick's grandma's house on the way home and stayed there for a couple of nights. I have a post in my head about that, but when I got home and back to the computer, I had an email from Chic Shopper Chick saying my guest post is up! Well, that seems like a perfect reason to not post anything real today and simply link to the one I wrote for her site! So, run on over to Chic Shopper Chic and check out my review of those terrible CROCS which it turns out I kinda sorta love!

** Also, check out my new amazing little signature! Adorable, right? All from Sweet and Simple Designs!**

**Last little thought. Did you all hear about the lightening strike on Pensacola Beach during the Blue Angles show on Saturday??? Ten people went to the hospital! We were out there Friday watching the dress rehearsal, but missed the real show Saturday because we were in Alabama. Dodged a bullet there...**

Alarm Clock

I have a deep hatred of alarm clocks. That is one of the things that makes this glorious vacation so wonderful. I just wake up when I want...which...as it turns out...isn't really that much later than when I would wake up at home. Whatever, it is now MY time! Anyway, seeing as how one of the highlights of vacation is waking up whenever my body decides it's time, you can imagine how I was a touch of annoyed to be woken up yesterday at eight am to hear a noise that clearly sounded like our house was being bombed. After two "attacks" Nick and I jumped from the bed and went out on our second floor patio. Here is what we saw... Then they "buzzed the tower" or buzzed the deck I guess... While watching the Blue Angles practice, we looked over the top of the condo and saw this...So with the rainbow and the amazing air show, it was well worth getting up a little earlier!

Now for a couple of other pictures from the week. Here is Nick teaching Wesley to play some penny hockey. He will be a master in not time!

And here are the parents at dinner at Peg Leg Pete's

And then the kid table, Boo, Chris and Cory

Then Liz, Wesley (looking adorable) Me and Nick!